We all know that doing bad things is wrong, but come on, by now it’s clear that the payoff is pretty massive. You may have to spend half your life in prison, but when you get out you’re basically sorted for about two lifetimes.
1. Frank Lucas: Made $50 million smuggling heroin
This dude apparently made more than 50 million dollars smuggling heroin into the USA. They even made a a movie about him called American Gangster. He’d use dead soldier coffins to get the stuff in, which sounds really mean but isn’t that bad an idea honestly.
2. José Figueroa Agosto: Made $100 million trafficking drugs
Jose got a 209 year sentence for drug trafficking, which seems a little excessive, but that’s a debate for a different time. Anyway, he’s got 100 million dollar stash hanging around, so whenever he gets out, he’ll be rich(and 200 years old)!
3. George Jung: Made $100 million smuggling cocaine
George also had a movie made about him, called Blow starring Johnny Depp. He was basically smuggling a whole lot of cocaine into the USA and also cheating on his wife, which seems like a non issue considering the extent of his drug dealing. Another man in the 100 million dollar club.
4. Nicky Barnes: Made $105 million dollars selling heroin
Also known as Mr. Untouchable, Nicky realised that using heroin was not as fun as selling heroin at a young age. Worth 105 million dollars, this legend turned things around, making money through a biography. So the moral is, sell some drugs, go to jail and then sell the rights to your life. $$!
5. Paul Lir Alexander: Made $170 million selling cocaine
This brilliant swat nosed scammer helped the American government catch a host of other smugglers, thereby securing himself a solid position smuggling cocaine without competion. With a net worth of $170 million, he was finally arrested in 2005, after which he escaped and is probably living it up. Lucky bugger!
6. Zhenli Ye Gon: Made $300 million selling pseudoepinephrine
This guy personifies the Chinese dream. I’m kidding, but he basically made around $300 million selling pseudoepinephrine in Mexico. This war on drugs has to stop!
7. Joseph P. kennedy Sr: Made $400 million hustling alcohol
John F. Kennedy’s daddy made around $400 million hustling hooch into the States during the prohibition era. This proves that illegal things aren’t always bad.
8. Freeway Rick Ross: Made $600 million selling crack cocaine
By now, you might have seen him on some Youtube shows or something. Basically, this chill looking dude made $600 million selling crack cocaine through the ’90s. That’s pretty amazing considering crack is one of the cheapest drugs around. Damn!
9. Rafael Caro Quintero: Made $650 million as part of a cartel
This guy is like someone straight out of Breaking Bad, wanted for the murders of Federal agents, pilots and lord knows who else. Anyway, he made $650 million as part of the Guadalajara Cartel, so that’s cool I guess.
10. Joaquín Guzmán Loera: Made $1 billion as head of the Sinaloa Cartel
Named one of the most powerful people on earth by Forbes magazine, Loera amassed a fortune of $1 Billion as the head of the Sinaloa Cartel in Mexico. He was arrested, released and finally re-arrested in 2014.
11. Al Capone: Made $1.3 billion as a gangster
One of the most well known names in the gangster world, Al Capone smuggled alcohol and did the usual killing, maiming and general eroding common with gangsters. With $1.3 billion, he did pretty well for himself, for a while.
12. Griselda Blanco: Made $2 billion smuggling cocaine
Nicknamed the Black Widow for her hardcore style, she brought in a whole lot of cocaine into the USA. I’m guessing they called her that because she killed her lovers after she slept with them? Anyway she made $2 Billion so good for her.
13. Carlos Lehder: Made $2.7 billion selling cocaine
As one of the founding fathers of the Medellin Cartel, Carlos, along with George Jung did some of the crazy shit that people were doing then – Basically selling and doing a lot of cocaine. Quite a symbiotic relationship I suppose.
14. The Rodríguez Orejuela Brothers: Made $3 billion dealing drugs
They started the Cali cartel, which basically dealt in drugs of all kinds. Obviously, they ended up making around $3 Billion before getting arrested and spending their current days in a USA prison.
15. José Gonzalo Rodríguez Gacha: Made $5 billion as part of the Medellin Cartel
A $5 Billion Medellin Cartel attribute, this guy made so much money that George W. Bush had him specifically targeted for a crackdown. Living up to the Cartel legend though, he killed himself rather than going quietly.
16. Khun Sa: Made $5 billion selling drugs and weapons
Another member of the $5 Billion club, this dude sold drugs, weapons and his entire lifestyle to millions for millions. He even had his own army. Should he really be on this list?
17. The Ochoa Brothers: Made $6 billion as part of the Medellin Cartel
Again, the Medellin Cartel seems to churn out extremely rich and extremely ruthless personalities. Anyway, they amassed $6 Billion dollars from humble beginnings in a steakhouse, so hey, there’s always hope!
18. Dawood Ibrahim: Made $6.7 billion as kingpin of his organisation
Bet you didn’t know he was THIS rich ($6.7 Billion). Anyway, there’s not much to say about this douche that hasn’t already been said, so there you go. Arms trafficking, sports point shaving and blowing stuff up. Like I said- Douche.
19. Amado Carrillo Fuentes: Made $25 billion as part of his Mexican Cartel
His net worth was $25 Billion! This guy’s legend is pretty famous. He underwent plastic surgery to get the feds off his back, but his bodyguards apparently killed him while he was in the process of changing his face. Gross.
20. Pablo Escobar: Made $30 billion as head of the Medellin Cartel
Like duh. The name that comes to mind as soon as someone says cocaine and Columbia. The cops hated him, while the locals loved him because he showered them with gifts. Anyway, he was really rich and really powerful, the perfect combination.
Hope you didn’t get the wrong idea!