Your happiness is mostly shaped by your decisions. Changing the way you feel requires you to make tough decisions that you haven’t made before. We all want to do this but fear get’s in the way and stops us from taking action.
Being comfortable and making decisions that are easy will get you absolutely nowhere. Your happiness is important, and you should spend time finding ways to live life on your terms. The advice in this blog post is challenging. The decisions I have outlined require you to be bold.
If you make one, or better yet, all of these four decisions below you’ll have some proven strategies to stop you from being unhappy. Here they are:
1. Start a website
Find something you love talking about and then start a website. Spend every minute you have spare building up the content and then sharing it on your existing social media accounts. There is something that happens in your mind when you focus on a passion you have.
Even if no one ever visits your website, the process of creating and maintaining the site will make you happy. It will take time to carve and your niche and the unique angle that you bring. If you focus for long enough, you’ll eventually have people coming to your website.
Whether your website lasts, will be determined by your patience. A successful website takes a few years to create, so you’ll have to settle with short term happiness in the meantime which I think is a pretty good trade off. Don’t you?
2. Break up with that person who causes you pain
The person could be a romantic partner, family member, or even a friend. Sit down and think about how this person makes you feel. Are they building you up or tearing you down emotionally. Contemplate these thoughts for a week.
See if you feel any different. Read personal development books. One morning, go outside while it’s dark and walk to the nearest hill. Stand on top of it and watch the sunrise. Think again about how this person makes you feel. Are you really convinced that they’re making your life better?
As hard as these thoughts are going to be, you have to be honest with yourself. Lying to yourself is sabotaging your long-term success. Think about Uncle Garry who is fifty years old, with no friends, no partner, and no kids. Is that really what happiness is all about?
Understand that no bold decision is going to be easy. In fact, nothing in life is easy. Let this idea be proven by reading Arnold Schwarzenegger’s biography. After reading the book, you’ll understand what hard work is and how it relates to the bold decision you have avoided for so long.
Try a few months away from the person. Notice how your life is different. See how good it is not to live with other people’s pain being forced upon you. Some nights will be tough, and you may shed a tear or too. That’s fine, and we all do even if we are too afraid to admit it.
Buy a new outfit. One that makes you feel good about yourself. Pick up the phone and call someone who you would prefer to spend time with. Go and hang out with them. Think to yourself whether these new positive feelings feel much better than the past ones you endured from this person who causes you so much pain.
Be bold. Go to a place where there is lots of singing. Stand up with the people around you and sing with them. See the power of collaboration and what music can do to you. Feel the chills down your spine and remember what this feeling is like.
Late one night, text your work buddies and tell them how much you enjoy working with them. Highlight some of the things they do well. Watch the flood of text messages come back and realise that you create your own reality.
The pain you’ve endured has been your choice the whole time. Pain is guaranteed, but suffering is up to you. Don’t let external factors take you away from what you were put on this planet to do. Only you know why you’re here and everyone’s opinions about this quest are nothing but noise.
Watch your life become nothing more than chasing new experiences. Get used to jumping on planes, cruising on buses, and being happy for once. See your suitcase age along with your own body. Know that there is an end in sight for all of us and commit to enjoying the here and now.
As you get to the baggage carousel at the airport, see your suitcase come down the conveyer belt completely ruined and torn to shreds. Know that this is a mortality lesson in disguise.
Come home once in a while and have lunch with the people you truly missed. These people are now more evident to you because you’ve been away. Listen to songs that put a smile on your face and don’t be afraid to fist pump the air once in a while, even while you’re on the train going to the office.
The cute girl sitting next to you laughs at your dance moves, and you know that you’ve at least improved one person’s life today. The challenge is now how you do this more often. The challenge is how you take the pain from this person who you have to break up with and turn it into positive energy to heal other people’s suffering.
“You’ll realise that your disadvantages are actually your advantages and vice versa.“
As the weekend rolls around, head to the beach and learn how to kite surf. Who cares what you look like it’s another new experience. Stand up on the board, while on the sand, and think how cool you are. Then, go out on the water and try to do the same and see how challenging it is.
Spend the rest of the day at the beach, falling over and never getting up on your board. Embrace all the failure and remember that your success lies on the other side. Keep practicing and having people laugh at you until you finally stand on the board for five seconds.
Then, you stand for 10, 15, 20, 55 seconds, and finally a whole minute. While you’re no expert, you can now stand on your own two feet. See the awesomeness in this life lesson and tie these thoughts back to the person you have to break up with.
Maybe your breakup with this person is like learning how to kite surf. You’re a smart cookie and deep down you know it. Each day, you continue to grow your thoughts and harvest the one’s that serve you. Before long, the suffering subsides, and your luck begins to change.
It’s been a while since you last spoke to the person that causes you so much pain. Don’t forget about this person. Choose not to live like them and always be open to repairing the damage if they show they’re truly committed.
Stop being afraid to make the bold decisions.
3. Quit your job
If Monday’s are something you secretly hate every week, then it’s time to quit your job. Even if you have no plan, quit your job. It’s not worth being unhappy and you’ll quickly find another job when you’re forced to.
Make sure the new job gives you a sense of purpose, and it aligns with your beliefs. Put money second, and purpose first.
4. Leave your hometown
A brave decision and one that young people should especially try. If you know every street where you live and all the people in your neighborhood then you probably haven’t lived. The unhappiness you are feeling will become secondary when you are forced to find your way around a new city.
Just buying a loaf of bread will become an adventure in a new town. Choose somewhere that feels like a place where you can thrive. Forcing yourself to thrive rather than survive will help you become happy again.
Enjoy meeting new people and try to incorporate them into your weekend adventures. Two or more people is always better than you by yourself.