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HOW TO DEVELOP SELF TRUST AND SELF CONFIDENCE

 

A little bird in a storm

On a small frail branch of a huge tree rested a little bird chirping merrily protected from the wild animals and feeling safe and supported on the branch high up .Suddenly a strong wind started blowing, and the tree swayed with such intensity that it seemed the branch would snap in half and lo and behold the branch snapped and came crashing down .

The bird was not worried it trusted its wings …

Nothing happened to the bird because as soon as the branch broke it just spread its wings and flew away.It did not worry as it had trust in the power of its wings, was confident and knew even if the branch gave way it will be able to fly, away and remain safe. it also knew that there are many other branches upon which it can temporarily rest .This trust was mostly innate but enhanced by the older birds as it grew .

Is self trust and confidence something we are born with ?

Are we born with it or is it taught and developed: nature vs. nurture question. Until now it was seen to be based on upbringing and other environmental factors ( nurture ) but research has shown that self confidence can be heritable ( nature ) but that does not mean it is unchanged by upbringing .A genetic legacy of self-confidence merely opens up better possible futures .

What do we learn from this story of the bird ?

The bird trusted its wings and not the branches.During the ups and downs of our life journey sometimes we do need recovery and shelter,but we must be aware that these sources of safety do not always last – what is really lasting and permanent rests within us, in the form of self belief ,trust and confidence in our own unique abilities with faith and courage to go on .

Self trust is a key factor for success

So much hinges on self-trust in this world. When we learn to rely upon our own instincts in life accompanied by analytical insight we become prepared to face the unknown. What one encounters at the next bend of life is a mystery and to face it successfully we need courage ,faith and self trust to .And to me life always feels like stepping into the great unknown. How about you?

Create conditions of self trust as children grow

Adults can expand the possibility of enhancing the child’s capability to trust himself by their behavior towards the child .Children turn to adults for guidance, like we did with our parents.We need to mindfully send messages that encourage their ability to extend trust to themselves.Here are a few concepts to the expansion of a child’s or an adults ability to trust him or herself .

Accept the individual completely unconditionally

When we accept and love the person completely without any judgment or condition and raise up a child in an environment where you do not doubt yourself ..it’s an ideal place for self trust to unfold in an individual .Carl Rogers calls it ” Unconditional Positive Regard”

Recognizing and encouraging strengths

Every person needs a little guidance in helping understand, recognize in his or her own unique strengths (i.e. playing the piano or guitar writing poems ,playing cricket, singing etc ) The more you appreciate the talent the more they will develop a positive sense and believe in their ability. They then can increasingly trust their capability to perform in front of others. This is a very positive way of forming and enhancing self trust.

Develop a habit of internal searching

Encouraging internal searching may be by asking some questions like : How do you feel? What do you think? What is your sense?How can you work on it more ? This can increase self reliance and often trust ensues by looking within for answers to enhance ability and this creates more self trust ? As Carl Jung so eloquently stated “Who looks outside,dreams. Who looks inside, awakens “

Trust yourself first as no can be a consistent support

1) Be kind ,loving and caring to yourself ,tell yourself “Yes, that was a big mistake, but I’ll learn from it, and I love myself anyway.” 2) Avoid people who undermine your self-trust they are the ones who use you or don’t want you to succeed. 3) Keep promises and commitments to yourself so that you become your own best friend .This builds self trust.

Believe in yourself and stop comparing

Face your fears and do not allow anyone to tell you that you are not good enough for something .You alone should be your own judge.Stop comparing yourself with others who you think are better off than you Recognize your strengths and work on your weaknesses .Everyone has their own set of talents and drawbacks, which is what makes each of us unique .

Understand your potentials and accept yourself

There is a wealth of dormant untapped strength,unused success ,hidden talents and capped capability within you.Understanding my hidden potential to write and share after years of teaching and practicing medicine is a boon.It unburdens me ,opens a release valve to empty out myself and revel in self love ,Gods love ,helps me to look within and to face my uncertainties with courage and accept myself with all my flaws.

Self trust is the foundation of all other relationships

Trust is the heartbeat of every significant relationship, with yourself as well as with others .In fact, the relationship with yourself of self trust is the foundation of all other trusting relationships.With trust comes faith and courage .The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself…..As soon as we trust ourself we will know how to live .

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