Things I would like my children to do, so that, they do not become knowingly or unknowingly bullies. Children are playful, they love to play and there is nothing wrong about it. There is a fine line between empowering children, giving them too much power and keeping them away from empowerment by saying no to everything that they do.
Empowering the child too much may make him a bully where he starts forcing his opinion on others or may even physically abuse them. Also, by denying him from his basic power, he may become weak and become somebody who is scared of people.
How do you let the creativity of your child grow and at the same time not overpower another human being?
Either we are extremely introverts or extremely extroverts. How can we find the balance in our life?
Last week I heard about an incident where a child pushed another child while playing. The child fell and was injured. This caused an outrage among other mothers. How can this incident be avoided? Can we watch our child 24X7? Can the principal or the teachers watch? No, they cannot, as they will not be present always to guide the child from doing wrong to right. The best way is to build a belief system, a value system at home and also, the school will enhance their best possibilities in helping every child respect one another.
We must teach our children not to force their opinions on anyone, instead inspire them to respect others opinions as well. I believe there is a huge gap in our belief system and value system. When a husband forces his wife to stay at home or a wife forces her husband to follow a particular life style the child here inculcates this behaviour and believes its right to boss over things. Children recognize the things that we do at our home even if it is not directed towards them.
I did a close observation while I was taking a workshop for children at a school. I asked them to close their eyes. Out of two hundred children one among them refused to close his eyes. I asked him why he did not close his eyes. He replied saying he did not want to. Another child next to him informed me that it was his attitude. I was amazed with the behaviour and the resistance the child showed towards taking part in the activity. He was very rigid sitting in the corner, just staring at me and the children who were interacting with me. He certainly was not happy by sitting there at the work shop. After the workshop I met him and asked him the same question, he replied that he did not enjoy. I asked him what was it that kept him away from enjoying being among people. Unfortunately, there was no time for me to talk and get into the depth of this matter. But there was certainly something different about the child.
I would not say that the child had behaviour problem, he was just the way he was. He did not want to be part of the group and that made him different from the other children. His behaviour could be an attitude of a genius or it could be aserious sign of something that was troubling him. So it isimportant for each family member to give space to the childthat he needs and hold his hand while he is going through difficulties rather than forcing him to do something he does not like. When you force somebody to go against their wishes,it creates hatred; it could even create situations where the person chooses to be in the corner.
We can be the change we want to see in the world. Therefore I urge every parent to build a positive atmosphere at home and teach their child to respect everyone at a very young age.
I have been guilty about forcing things on others and Ihave realised that it is not the right way. The right way is to inspire and to be an example.
I have written this article with an urge and a pledge that I will be an inspiration and I want my children to do the same.
A Take charge Expert and Author
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