Life is full of contradictions, oxymorons and ironies. As we get older, decisions become harder and consequences become greater.
Nothing comes without a price and everything forces you to make a small sacrifice. Unfortunately (and fortunately) for our generation, we now know the ramifications of the things we do, unlike the generations before.
If you choose to smoke cigarettes, you are enjoying yourself now, but harming yourself later. If we go tanning we’ll be hotter, but we’ll age earlier. So is it worth it?
If you’re hotter now, will you get married sooner? And if you get married earlier, will it not matter how badly you’re aging?
Our parents didn’t have to ask themselves these questions, they just did it. Of course, it’s great to know the damaging effects of many of our mistakes, but not knowing made their ability to live in the moment much easier.
While I am grateful for all that we’ve learned from previous generations, I can’t help but look at all the knowledge we’ve acquired as a reason to make no decisions at all. We know so much that it’s hard to make a move without spending all your time weighing the pros and cons of every minute decision.
That’s what makes being in your twenties so thrilling and absolutely terrifying. We’re still young enough to act like kids, but old enough to live like adults.
Broke adults, of course. And being broke, we’re faced with many more challenges and catch-22s because we don’t have the options that money can buy.
So for all of you enjoying your twenties with all the vigor of a roller coaster, where it seems like everything is asking for a piece of your soul, and crossing the street comes with its own paradox, here’s a list of all the catch-22s of your twenties that are driving you crazy:
Go to college to get a job, get a job to pay off college.
Do it to feel healthy, eat McDonald’s because you can’t afford healthy food after paying for yoga.
Smoke weed to do better work and make more money, spend all your hard-earned money on buying more weed.
The cheapest food to buy, the most expensive to work off.
When you’re single you just want to be in a relationship, when you’re in a relationship you just want to be single.
They cover half your torso, cost more than a full shirt.
Date them because they’re old, break up with them because they’re old.
You finally own your own kitchen, your Seamless account gets all the action.
If you don’t take it, you’ll get pregnant. If you do take it, you’ll never get pregnant, ever.
Finally making enough to have them, not making enough to pay them.
Have enough money to take a trip, don’t have enough sick days.
Do it, look hot now. Don’t do it, look hot later.
Get them to piss off your parents, end up becoming a parent with tattoos.
You can’t find an apartment without a broker, can’t get an apartment after broker fees.
Can’t live with them, can’t afford to live without them.
Drink to feel better after bad day at work, feel sick at work the next day and piss off your boss again.
In attempt to be social, we become more socially awkward.
Grow one and get a girl, grow one and look like you live in Brooklyn.
Need them for your sanity, lose your sanity when you’re with them.
Too old to act like kids, too young to know better.